


Alexander Had A Not So Shitty But Actually Totally Mega Shitty Morning

by The_Hidden_Oracle4234



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Coffee Shop, Guns, Not Beta Read, One Shot, terrible fic, weird fight scene thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 11:15:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13212603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hidden_Oracle4234/pseuds/The_Hidden_Oracle4234
Summary: One bad thing happened after another. Nothing was going well for Alex that day. Until he caught a break, but then BOOM that went to shit too. The coffee shop he's in gets robbed by people with guns and Alex, for some reason, has to play the hero at seven in the morning. Too early for heroics.





	Alexander Had A Not So Shitty But Actually Totally Mega Shitty Morning

**Author's Note:**

> This is not my best work but I needed to take a break from my other work so I just quickly wrote this out to give my brain a chance to explore some other things.

Alex was having a shitty morning. Like a mega shitty morning. The worst possible morning in existence had to be bestowed upon him.

 

It was cursed from the beginning. When Alex woke up at six a.m., as he does every morning, he checked his Gmail. In his inbox was an email from one of his partners in a group project for American History.

 

The project was due later that day and the guy who supposed to turn it in, Jay, lost it. Which means Alex had to redo it. 

 

Hamilton thinks that’s shit because how can you lose an essay? It’s all saved on the computer now. Unless of course the asshole didn’t back it up or maybe just didn’t do his part and erased everyone’s work so he wouldn’t be the only one. And now look who has to clean up his mess.

Normally something like that wouldn’t have been a big deal except he had two other essays he had to finish and turn in that same day. He had less than four hours to do all his work. Hamilton could totally do it. He’d done more work in less time before. 

 

Maybe.

 

Alex stood up from his desk to get some coffee. After pouring himself a cup he noticed there was no more coffee. None. Absolutely none. 

 

All gone.

 

There was nothing left in the pot and no grounds anywhere in his room.

 

“Fuck,” Alex whispered aloud to no one in particular.

 

This job just got that much harder now that he only had one cup of coffee to go on. He could go to the cafe to buy some coffee, but that’d take too much time. 

 

Alex would have to deal. 

 

Hamilton sighed and waddled back over to his desk. He slumped down into the chair in front of his laptop Ole’ Reliable. A four-year-old piece of machinery that has always served him well. 

Alex set his coffee to the side, cracked his knuckles, and began typing. Fast, Rapid fire, a word spittin machine. He could be a rap god if he wanted to. 

 

About four paragraphs into the first essay, Alex reached over to grab his coffee mug with one hand while the other kept typing. Hamilton’s eyes never left the screen,  making sure every idea came out just right.

 

In his distraction, Alex knocked the mug onto his laptop, spilling coffee all over Ole’ Reliable.

 

“FUCK!” Alex shot up out of his seat, threw the now empty mug across the room, and lifted Ole’ Reliable out of the puddle.

 

“Shit!” Hamilton set the laptop to the side and ran to the closet and grabbed a random orange towel. He tossed it onto Ole’ Reliable in an attempt to soak up the moisture. Alex rubbed the towel over the keyboard and screen several times, but to his dismay, Ole’ Reliable flickered momentarily before slipping away into darkness. 

 

For a moment, Alexander stood there silently watching his laptop. Then he picked up his friend, cradled it to his chest like it was an infant, and dropped to the floor in fetal position. 

 

“My baby. My sticky, sticky baby.” Alex mumbled repeatedly while stroking his fallen comrade.  

 

“Precious thing. Too young. Too beautiful.” He began, rocking back and forth whispering to his dead computer,

 

This went on for several minutes until Alex let go of Ole’ Reliable and watched it slowly fall to the floor with a thud.

 

Ole’ Reliable was dead. Lost. More importantly, his assignments were gone. All of them. Everything actually. Everything he’d ever written was on that laptop. Alex hadn’t back any of it up because he never thought something like this would happen. 

 

Huh. Figures. 

 

He let a tear slide down his cheek before pushing himself up off the floor.

 

“Rest in peace brother.” He said softly.

 

There was no way he could type all three essays in time without his laptop. As a matter of fact, all his classes required a computer and now he was without. He’d have to save up for a repair or just get a new one. 

 

But for now, Alex had to figure out what to do. He can’t go to class without a computer but he also can’t just not go to class.

 

Or could he?

 

He’d be no use without Ole’ Reliable. He couldn’t do any work, he would just be in the way. 

 

So what’s he gonna do?

 

He could go get coffee. He could get coffee from that really nice place and stay there. A coffee to drink and a book to read. Alex can’t remember the last time he read a book. College has got him so busy he hasn’t had time for himself. 

 

Hamilton’s mind was made up.

 

Coffee.

 

Book.

 

A break.

 

Alex smiled to himself as he got ready. He threw on a casual t-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. He put his hair into a tight ponytail, slipped his feet into Converses, grabbed a random book and his wallet, and headed out the door. He left his phone on the nightstand intentionally. Alexander had no use for it right now. He was going off the grid.

 

Hamilton practically skipped out the dorm building, through the crowds and to the coffee shop.

 

Okay, so maybe it doesn’t seem that shitty right now, but the beginning was shitty and trust me when I say that it got shittier, which coincidentally is why I’m currently sitting on a stretcher being aided to by EMTs and questioned by the cops. 

 

Anyway, upon arrival, Alex ordered a medium-sized black coffee and sat in a booth towards the back of the shop. He took a sip and found that the coffee was really fucking good. Like really good. So, feeling comfortable in the environment, he opened up his book, apparently  _ Harry Potter,  _ to the first page and began to read.

 

About an hour and three cups later, the calm scene changed drastically. Four men of similar height dressed in dark clothes walked in the door. The bell above the entrance dinged and the barista gave them a warm smile. 

 

The occupants of the shop had yet to notice the newly entered group and Alex had not looked up from his book. Harry was about to see Voldemort again and that was more pressing than whoever just walked in. The cafe was bursting with conversation from all around until the barista let out a shriek and dropped the small glass plate she was holding. 

 

Alexander’s head snapped up to the scene. Four men, all with guns, pulled masks above their faces. The first man with a cheap silver watch on pointed his gun at the frightened barista.

 

“Everyone line up on this wall. Anybody tries to play hero, she gets shot.” Silver Watch spoke with a gravelly voice. Sounded like an old smoker. The customers obeyed and made to line up on the wall. Alexander was less convinced. 

 

Who robs a coffee shop?

 

The man in the back with blue laces locked the door. Another with a pink paint splatter on his shoe pulled the blinds down. 

 

Doesn’t make any sense..or did it? Coffee shops on and near school campuses make a ton of money. The place probably racks in at least a hundred bucks an hour. Imagine how much they have in the register and the safe. Plus who wouldn’t steal coffee from here? Shit is delicious. 

 

Not the point though. 

 

Armed robbery in a coffee shop. Weird.

 

Silver Watch suddenly aimed the gun at Alex. While he was thinking about the oddity of the situation, everyone else had already lined up. He instead had just stood still. 

 

“Move. Now.” Silver Watch waved his gun towards the wall where eight people stood shaking. Four of the people wore store uniforms. The rest were customers, different in every way. Except they were all students ditching class. 

 

Great. 

 

With the gun still trained on him, Alex slowly walked over to the wall, careful not to anger the gunmen. 

 

“Restrain them.” Pink Paint Splatter and Blue Laces pulled zip ties out of their pockets. They started with a young guy with blond hair. Alex didn’t know him very well. Only had one class with him and they never interacted. Next up were two twin girls, both with green eyes and messy hair in buns. Then, they tied up a short guy, like a really short guy. Shorter than Alex. Who just so happened to be next in line after that. 

 

Blue Laces seemed to have bound his hands extra tight. He was very rough with Alex. 

 

“Shouldn’t we establish a safeword or something?” Alex smirked at Blue Laces and gave him a wink. Blue and Pink moved on to the workers, ignoring Alex. Silver Watch eyed him before turning to the last man and nodding.

 

The man was huge with big muscles straining against his shirt and hoodie. Alex would have been turned on if he didn’t know what was about to happen. Well let’s be real here, he still was kind of turned on. Muscle Man walked over to him and punched him in the nose. 

 

Hard.

 

“Gah,” Alex cried out in pain as blood poured from his nose. 

 

“Not another word,” said Silver Watch, sternly. At this point, Alexander is in a lot of pain and his and his shirt is covered in blood. He’s also kind of pissed. He couldn’t resist. 

 

“Word.” Hamilton looked directly into Silver’s eyes and found that they were in fact silver. Huh. Silver smirked at Alex before directing Muscles to hit him again. 

 

Alexander bent over after being punched in the gut. Muscles aimed the next punch to his ribs and Alex swore he felt one of them break. 

 

“AAAGH” Muscles pushed Alex to his knees and then gagged him with a bandana. He thought he was in pain earlier well then holy fuck was he really feeling it now. His everything ached and he sort of wanted to cry. But he wasn’t going to. Not right now at least. 

 

Or later.

 

No crying for Alexander Hamilton as he summoned his manly man-ness. 

Silver continued to aim the gun at Alex and the rest of the hostages. Blue and Pink went behind the counter and grabbed all the cash from the register. Muscles went into the backroom to mess with the safe. As far as anyone knew, there was not a robbery taking place. Nothing bad was happening. The police had no clue. Which is when Hamilton realized while bound, gagged, bleeding, and sitting in agony, that nobody was coming to help them. They weren’t going to be rescued. 

 

Holy fucknuggets.

 

The four men walked into the shop without their masks on. The barista saw their faces. Maybe a few others did too. Shit. They aren’t going to let them live if they know what they look like. 

 

They’re going to kill them

 

But, that doesn’t mean they have to let it happen. They can fight. All they needed was a plan. Alexander began formulating an attack while the robbers continued ransacking the shop. To his left, a barista was crying softly. She was young and scared. Alex couldn’t let her die. She would not die that night, not if Alex could help it. 

 

Hamilton wanted to punch himself when he realized he left his phone in his dorm. That was a stupid move. Of all the days to leave his phone, he picks the one where he’s involved in an armed robbery. Smooth move Hamilton. 

 

Okay moving on. What else does he have in his pockets? A mechanical pencil and a pen. That’s it. Well, they could be used as weapons if need be. Not a bad idea. Alex could stall, run his mouth a bit and try to egg Muscles of Silver to come closer to him, to hurt him. That’s when he could whip out the pen/pencil and stab it into their thigh. There’d be a struggle. The others wouldn’t shoot if they couldn’t get a clear shot. They wouldn’t want one of their buddies hurt. 

 

Alex could wrestle the gun out of their hands and then….well then what? Alex has never shot a gun. He’s not even completely sure how to do it. It can’t be too hard though. He’s seen enough movies with guns, he could figure it out. 

 

Wait. How could he whip out the pen/pencil if he’s still tied up? Oh! That’s it!

 

“Hihatahee” Alex mumbled as loud as he could. Speaking is hard when you’re gagged with a blood-soaked bandana. Silver eyed him for a moment.

 

“What?” Silver raised an eyebrow.

 

“Hihatahee” Alex repeated his earlier statement. Silver furrowed his brows.

 

“I can’t understand you with that gag on.” Silver chuckled slightly.

 

“HI HAV TA HEE” Hamilton attempted to shout but ended up coughing from the strain his lungs were under. Hopefully, Silver got the message.

 

“You have to pee?” Silver asked him. Alex nodded his head and looked up at him. Pleading with his eyes to let him go. 

 

Silver studied him a moment before waving Blue over and instructing him to walk me over to the bathroom. 

 

“Don’t let him out of your sight.” Blue grabbed Alex and pulled him up and walked him over to the restroom. Once they were in the bathroom and away from the others Hamilton made a show of losing his balance and not so gracefully falling into the mirror. He did it for the people. 

 

His head smashed against the mirror and shards of glass fell to the floor. He quickly twisted his hands and grabbed one, then shoved it in his back pockets. Blue lifted him back up and dusted glass off Alexander’s shoulders.

 

“The hell was that?” Silver shouted from the main room. 

 

“The idiot fell into a mirror,” responded Blue to his boss. His voice was a bit high and squeaky, almost like he never hit puberty. 

 

More blood dripped down his chin from his now cut forehead and his still bleeding nose. His head was spinning and his vision was cloudy, but he knew he had to stay focused. To calm himself, he focused on his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. With every breath, his lungs ached a little bit more. He totally had a broken rib. 

 

Blue marched him over to a urinal, then stopped, unsure of what to do next. He seemed to think for a moment before coming to a decision. 

 

“If I cut your ties and let you pee by yourself you better not do something stupid. Or I will kill you.” Blue pulled out a knife and cut the zip tie. Alex sighed in relief as he gingerly rubbed his stinging wrists. 

 

Hamilton turned to look at Blue prompting him to roll his eyes and turn around. Alex faced back to the urinal and huffed. 

 

He again focused on his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. 

 

Make it quick. Knock him out, take his weapons, and use his cell to call the police. Great. Super easy.

 

Alex unzipped his pants to make it seem like he was going to use the restrooms. He exhaled slowly through his nose. And closed his eyes for a second, grounding himself, then he spun around and grabbed Blue by the hair. Before he could shout, Alex punched him square in the jaw. He then quickly kicked Blue’s legs out from underneath him. When the man fell to the floor, Alex kicked him in the side of the head. 

 

Hard. 

 

Then he reached down and grabbed his gun, knife, and phone. Alex let out a breath. 

 

“Holy shit.” Hamilton dialed 911 and set the phone on the floor in the corner. He couldn’t wait in the bathroom for the police to come. He had to deal with the rest of the robbers before someone else got hurt.

 

Before Alex left the bathroom he pulled a zip tie out of his pocket and bound Blue’s hands together. Hamilton then pulled out the blood-soaked gag and shoved it in Blue’s mouth. It was gross, but oh well, the dude is an asshole. 

 

Alexander slowly pushed open the door of the bathroom with the gun shaking in his hand. Having never fired a gun before, he was very nervous. He crept down the hall and paused at the end of the corridor just before the corner. Alex carefully looked around the corner to see the hostages still lined up on the wall and Silver guarding them with a gun. Pink was searching through a box behind the counter and Muscles was out of sight, presumably in the back room still. That means only two to deal with for now. He doesn’t want to kill anyone. He’s not like that. He’ll try to avoid that option until there’s no other way. 

 

RIght now though, he had to figure out what he was going to do. The police were probably on their way, but Alex still had people to protect and make sure the four men don’t evade arrest by metaphorically jumping ship. 

 

What if he could sneak up on them? Pink isn’t paying attention and Silver is looking the other way. Alex could disarm and knock out Silver and keep a gun on Pink. Not bad.

 

Alexander turned the corner and snuck up behind Silver. The hostages stared wide-eyed at him. The barista from earlier stopped crying and watching him attentively. Alex prayed that Silver didn’t notice his hostages watching something behind him. 

 

Once Alex was directly behind Silver, he did something he has only seen happen in movies. He pistol-whipped Silver, causing him to drop to the floor. Hamilton quickly turned and aimed the gun at Pink. The man froze, the search for treasure forgotten while watching Alex. 

 

Hamilton with on hand on the gun, he took the other hand, reached into his pocket and pulled out the shard of glass from the mirror. He let it fall to the floor and kicked it over to the hostages, his eyes never leaving Pink. Alex then did the same with the knife he earlier stole from Blue. He heard the sound of ties being cut. 

 

Suddenly, the tall boy from one of Alex’s classes stood up next to him holding Silver’s gun and aimed it at Pink. Soon all the hostages were unbound and a few of them were armed. 

 

Pink stood still until the blond boy directed him to walk slowly toward Bridget, the crying girl from earlier, who proceeded to bind his hands. Once Pink was taken care of, Alex and Blonde cautiously walked into the background room, guns at the ready. Muscles was gone. He had escaped through the back door. It wasn’t worth the effort to go after him. Three out of four wasn’t bad at all. 

 

The police agreed once they got there. They arrested the three men and sent a party out to look for the fourth. Officers questioned each one of the hostages who all told them exactly what happened. That they may have died without Alexander who was currently unavailable for questioning as he had passed out on the stretched from blood loss. The police were only able to ask him one question before he fainted. He was later taken to the hospital where his forehead was stitched up and he received x-rays for his ribs. Surprise, surprise, some were broken. 

 

So yeah, Alex sort of had a shitty morning. Sort of.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are pretty cool. Constructive criticism is pretty cool. Even if I wrote this just to write this I always strive to improve and I love when others help with that so if you could that'd be greatly appreciated.


End file.
